Wednesday, October 8, 2008

From Mars

Do you ever have the feeling that someone just does not like you? Do you ever know why that is? There is a lady at my church that looks at me like I'm from Mars nearly every time I see her. She was a mentor mom in a mom group I was in a few years ago and I thought that would give us a better chance to get to know each other, but no, she avoided me like the plague and again, gave me the look. I read blogs from other friends and talk to other people who just nearly - not entirely - worship the ground she walks on, so to mention this to them would elicit the looks from Mars as well. I know that I have never been rude to this lady - I've had no reason - I've always greeted her and her family anytime I have seen them, but still...the look. I actually ran into her at a restaurant recently as we were leaving and went to greet her. She and her table mate gave me the look and then she sighed and asked if we were coming or going. I replied that we were just leaving, but I saw them and wanted to come say hello. And that was about all of that conversation. I certainly don't try to force myself on her or anyone else for that matter, but I won't be rude.

Yeah, it bothers me to the point of wondering did I inadvertently do something so long ago to really hack this woman off to the point of holding a grudge for years and years (I've been at my church for over 12 years - this has been on going since the beginning), or does she just not like the way I look? Or my husband? Or my children? Or what?

Now, there are people that I just don't like, and it's usually been over an attitude toward me or my family. But I have always greeted them and been friendly because I can't change them, but I can change my attitude towards them. If this lady is holding a grudge from the beginning, it most certainly could have been over an attitude of mine in the early days - I was 12 years younger and very immature in many ways.

Perhaps I am still immature in many ways if this still bugs me when I see her or hear people raving over how wonderful a person she is. Or maybe I'm just hurt that I would love to get to know such a wonderful woman better and feel left out of that circle. Again, immaturity. Jealousy, maybe.

Just needed to be a little transparent and throw this out there. Thanks for listening.

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